The dare I have been having a horrible time with recently is greeting my spouse in a fantastic and loving way. This problem stems from the fact that Reid has been coming home WAY after I got to bed.
Today however this was not an issue because it rained a lot and Reid did light work today. I went out on the "town" with 2 dear friends-- Lizzie and Tara-- for a night of opera. So when I got home Reid was already here relaxing so I greeted him warmly and then asked him about his day as well as his supper and what he had been doing.
This one is a short and easy thing to do simply decide if you want to be nice to your spouse when you get home or not.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Love is not Jealous
Thought of the day: It is hard not to resent your spouse when they do more things than you can do because of their circumstances.
For example, I can do more things in the evening and on the weekends because I work a Monday through Friday job and I have set hours. While I appreciate how hard Reid works I know he gets upset that I am always doing stuff. I can make a difference for Reid by trying to come see him out on the farm on the weekend.
Today's dare was to destroy the list of negative qualities that I made about Reid. I do not play with fire so tomorrow I will shred it at school. I also need to share in a success that Reid has recently had. This part is going to be so hard for me because the days are getting longer and we are seeing each other less and less. I need to pledge to do more to find time with Reid.
Hopefully tomorrow will go smoothly because I am so tired right now!
For example, I can do more things in the evening and on the weekends because I work a Monday through Friday job and I have set hours. While I appreciate how hard Reid works I know he gets upset that I am always doing stuff. I can make a difference for Reid by trying to come see him out on the farm on the weekend.
Today's dare was to destroy the list of negative qualities that I made about Reid. I do not play with fire so tomorrow I will shred it at school. I also need to share in a success that Reid has recently had. This part is going to be so hard for me because the days are getting longer and we are seeing each other less and less. I need to pledge to do more to find time with Reid.
Hopefully tomorrow will go smoothly because I am so tired right now!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Love Believes the Best- Day 7
Today's theme includes the idea that we all have appreciation rooms for our spouse where we have stored all of the qualities that impress us and originally attracted us to them. What is in your room?
We also have a depreciation room where we store things that irritate us about our spouse. These things come from being let down, having hurt feelings, and from DOUBT. I call this the abrasive room because it encourages you to be mad and start fights. What is in this room? If this were last year I would be telling you that I NEVER left this room but after a lot of hard work I only dwell in the depreciation room when Reid has really hurt my feelings or let me down.
This day's dare includes settling down in the Appreciation Room and making it your home in order to focus on the positive things about your spouse. Today also requires that you choose whether you dwell in positive or negative light, so what do you choose?
The BIG part of the dare is to make a list of positive and negative attributes about my spouse and save them for a later day. BUT I am required to tell Reid one positive attribute that he has and thank him for that. I am choosing to thank Reid for being a hard worker because some day he will be able to instill the values of hard work into our children.
We also have a depreciation room where we store things that irritate us about our spouse. These things come from being let down, having hurt feelings, and from DOUBT. I call this the abrasive room because it encourages you to be mad and start fights. What is in this room? If this were last year I would be telling you that I NEVER left this room but after a lot of hard work I only dwell in the depreciation room when Reid has really hurt my feelings or let me down.
This day's dare includes settling down in the Appreciation Room and making it your home in order to focus on the positive things about your spouse. Today also requires that you choose whether you dwell in positive or negative light, so what do you choose?
The BIG part of the dare is to make a list of positive and negative attributes about my spouse and save them for a later day. BUT I am required to tell Reid one positive attribute that he has and thank him for that. I am choosing to thank Reid for being a hard worker because some day he will be able to instill the values of hard work into our children.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH back from the dead (or so it seems)
I got very sick in January and at that time did not continue to blog. Which I must say I have missed and then things came up (as they usually do), I went out of town, took a certification exam, and am now finally in a place where I feel like I can blog again!
So I left off on Day 6 of the dare.... and I admit there are times when I say and do the wrong thing but Reid and I are still working so that means something.
Day 6... Love is not Irritable. The dare says, "Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life."
This question has been eluding me for months. I don't know why but it has been the hardest thing for me to think of even though I know all of the areas where I fall short. I am going to take to heart that margin in my life means FLEXIBILITY. I need to be more flexible when it comes to projects around the house because I know that Reid is busy: he cannot always drop everything to help me.
Another thing the dare asks me to center on is places I have been overreacting. I LAUGH at this since I am the queen of that activity! Although I am not sure I have been overreacting at home because Duke was the little shredder that Reid wanted to name him the other day and I calmly called Reid and told him what happened and he calmly reacted.
Today I looked at everything head on as well and did not panic or get stressed out when I was doing things in the yard I wanted Reid to do. So I just took over and I survived. It all worked out!
So I left off on Day 6 of the dare.... and I admit there are times when I say and do the wrong thing but Reid and I are still working so that means something.
Day 6... Love is not Irritable. The dare says, "Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life."
This question has been eluding me for months. I don't know why but it has been the hardest thing for me to think of even though I know all of the areas where I fall short. I am going to take to heart that margin in my life means FLEXIBILITY. I need to be more flexible when it comes to projects around the house because I know that Reid is busy: he cannot always drop everything to help me.
Another thing the dare asks me to center on is places I have been overreacting. I LAUGH at this since I am the queen of that activity! Although I am not sure I have been overreacting at home because Duke was the little shredder that Reid wanted to name him the other day and I calmly called Reid and told him what happened and he calmly reacted.
Today I looked at everything head on as well and did not panic or get stressed out when I was doing things in the yard I wanted Reid to do. So I just took over and I survived. It all worked out!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Love Dare Day Five
Ahhhh day 5 down 35 to go. Time is moving fast and slow at the same time. I feel as though I have been awake long enough to be on Day 12 but that is ok. Today was hard for me and it was hard for Reid to answer the questions I had to ask him, which is a good thing.
Today the dare asked me to find out 3 things that irritate Reid that I do. When I asked him he gave me a strange look and then said, "the cleaning situation." In our home that means Reid hates that I am messy. I know that and have known it for some time. It did not bother me to hear this statement, I like clutter. To improve in this area I will put my clutter into neater piles and magically stop grass and dust from venturing into the living room.
The second thing Reid says is that I gripe at him. What wife never "nags" a spouse to do anything. I recently red an article about a mother and teenage daughter who communicated about things that needed to be done via dry erase board. Maybe I will try that although I doubt that Reid will feel satisfaction from erasing things from a to do list that I create for him. I think he just said that because I mentioned the Christmas lights that are still hanging from the roof.
Reid insisted he could not think of a third thing until I mentioned he hates it when I use sarcasm with him. I am not sure how I can improve this because that is just my nature. But for Reid and his irritation level I am going to try to tone it down a bit.
The Love Dare recommends 3 things each of us can do in our relationships when it comes to etiquette they are:
1. Guard the Golden Rule "Treat others how you want to be treated."
2. No double standards-- be considerate of everyone you interact with.
3. Honor requests-- consider what your mate has already asked you to do or not to do. When in doubt get clarification.
Today the dare asked me to find out 3 things that irritate Reid that I do. When I asked him he gave me a strange look and then said, "the cleaning situation." In our home that means Reid hates that I am messy. I know that and have known it for some time. It did not bother me to hear this statement, I like clutter. To improve in this area I will put my clutter into neater piles and magically stop grass and dust from venturing into the living room.
The second thing Reid says is that I gripe at him. What wife never "nags" a spouse to do anything. I recently red an article about a mother and teenage daughter who communicated about things that needed to be done via dry erase board. Maybe I will try that although I doubt that Reid will feel satisfaction from erasing things from a to do list that I create for him. I think he just said that because I mentioned the Christmas lights that are still hanging from the roof.
Reid insisted he could not think of a third thing until I mentioned he hates it when I use sarcasm with him. I am not sure how I can improve this because that is just my nature. But for Reid and his irritation level I am going to try to tone it down a bit.
The Love Dare recommends 3 things each of us can do in our relationships when it comes to etiquette they are:
1. Guard the Golden Rule "Treat others how you want to be treated."
2. No double standards-- be considerate of everyone you interact with.
3. Honor requests-- consider what your mate has already asked you to do or not to do. When in doubt get clarification.
Observation of the Day
So today I decided that John Mayer is amazing but is not good for the classroom. Exhibit A: his song, Who Says about getting stoned. Somehow high school kids just don't need to hear that. But oh it is catchy. The song not the actions. :)
Post-it, "I like the idea of a neighborhood especially when family is so far away Love, God" Better is a neighbor that is near. Proverbs 27:10
I wish this applied to my life but we are not so close with our neighbors but I do know people I can call for eggs.
Girly, "Laughter is the best medicine. When a friend is sick, tell her your favorite inside joke. Making her laugh will help her feel better."
It is a true statement. Jess this day makes me think of you!
Post-it, "I like the idea of a neighborhood especially when family is so far away Love, God" Better is a neighbor that is near. Proverbs 27:10
I wish this applied to my life but we are not so close with our neighbors but I do know people I can call for eggs.
Girly, "Laughter is the best medicine. When a friend is sick, tell her your favorite inside joke. Making her laugh will help her feel better."
It is a true statement. Jess this day makes me think of you!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Love Dare Day Four
Day Four encouraged me to live the motto "Love is thoughtful." The challenge for the day was to call your spouse out of the blue for no reason other than to see how they are and if they need anything. This did not really go over well because Reid never really answers if he is busy and he was busy all day. So instead of waiting for a response I decided to get him bbq pizza for dinner since he likes it before I had a chance to nag him about dinner. I think that by being more thoughtful and actively engaging in follow through Reid could have clean laundry more often.
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